The Breath Is My Birthright
A memory keeps returning to me. I originally wrote this in 2012. It's the last day of Ramadan today May 12, 2021 and this memory is part of my journey towards healing my physical body. I no longer have the ailments mentioned in this blog post. Yoga, breathwork, meditation and other practices have helped me heal these imbalances in my body. Yet, I continue with these practices and healing continues because there are always new challenges and opportunities for growth. The breath carries me through my life's journey.
I'm in Istanbul, Turkey. I'm guessing it's 4:30 am. I hear chanting, the prayers for Ramadan as I lay awake in my hotel bed.
My yoga mat is next to the bed and I crawl out to my mat to practice yoga gently, incorporating a lot of twists to aid with digestion.
I'm connecting to peace while my body is experiencing a lot of pain from poor digestion: bloating and constipation. I also have eczema - red, cracked, pealing, itchy and stinging skin, all over my body.
The year is 2012 and I feel angst, fear and constriction in my gut and sadness in my heart.
I breathe in. The in-breath is what I give myself: love, kindness, oxygen and nourishment.
I breathe out. The out-breath is what I release: anger, negativity, self-doubt, criticism, and murkiness.
It's difficult to breathe this day. I feel full. I want to relax, and let go but there is so much on my plate.
I'm that mom who doesn't relax, who doesn't enjoy the beauty, the serendipity, the being.
The breath is just for me. It's my birthright. Practicing pranayama or breathwork, is my invitation to explore within.
The breath can be stilted or it can be flowing. Both illustrate how I experience life. Thankfully, I can move from stilted to flowing through constant, subtle shifts of energy, no longer frantic or forced.
Deep inner peace. Grateful to be where I am.
Healing is neither a place nor a destination. Healing is a process and a journey. I ride the breath through the experience called life.